BG4 (Vivian)

On December, 13, 2010, after a long cycle wondering what was going on, we tested to see if by chance we were pregnant! Much to our surprise and with elation we discovered, YES, WE WERE!

December 13th ~ First Response (9dpo)

December 13, 2010 ~ Clearblue Digital (9dpo)

December 15, 2010 ~ EPT (11dpo)

Over the next few weeks, we happily shared the news with family and friends about Baby Groves 4 (BG4). We looked forward to an August birth with Jessica dreaming of an outdoor labor/birth in her birth pool in her own backyard. We once again thought about names for our baby once we found out at birth if it was a boy or a girl. We began discussing when we should take vacations, how we would rearrange car seats in the minivan, getting Mary Katherine a big girl bed for her bedroom, making room for baby in our home, and telling our kids that they would have another baby to play with very soon!!

Each night Aidan & John Paul would say their prayers as they always do when the lights are turned of and their door is closed. "Father, Son, Holy Spirit, Amen. Thank you God for Mommy, Daddy, Aidan, John Paulie, Mary Katherine and mommy's baby" which sometimes John Paul called "and baby Alina" - a name he picked out for Baby. :)

On Christmas Day, we celebrated BG4's life with a warming ornament from Daddy to Mommy!

We also sent our New Year's cards to our friends and family from all 6 of us, including BG4!

As the weeks passed, Mommy's belly grew and she began wearing "fat pants" to feel comfortable. She was definitely showing (not surprising after 4 pregnancies in 5.5 years) and had a cute little belly bump! She also spent a lot of time going to the bathroom and eating a lot! She was very nauseous throughout and even fatigued most of the time. She was convinced she was going to have another baby girl because she was only this nauseous with MKat.

9 weeks belly bump: (1/21/2011)

On Wednesday (8 weeks, 5 days), I began spotting. I knew this was not a good sign. After two days of more and more, I went into the hospital for an ultrasound. Our baby had no heartbeat. Just blood flowing into the cord. We were so sad. :'( The radiologist confirmed and said the size of the baby matched a 6.5 week old embryo. We had lost the baby 2.5 weeks earlier. :'(

We left the hospital in tears. We went home and told the boys the news. We told them that when the baby passes through Mommy, the angels will come down from Heaven and take the baby there to live safely and happily until we can join our little Angel Baby Groves 4. They each shed tears and were very sad to lose their little sibling. :'(

Later that night, at 10:30PM, I began cramping pretty intensely. I was able to go to sleep for 2 hours. I woke up at 12:30AM, January 22, 2011, and the contractions were now right on top of each other. They were super intense, too, radiating into my sacrum and tailbone. It was just like active labor but short lived. I went to the bathroom, and immediately my baby was born. It was so quick and over so fast. I was amazed but also very grateful my baby was born at home just me and Baby Groves 4 and no interference during our time of sadness.

We decided to keep our Angel Baby to plant under a tree along with the children's placentas all of which we keep in our freezer still. We want to dedicate a special tree in our yard to our precious children.

On Wednesday, January 26th, we received these beautiful flowers from my mother, aunts and grandmother to remember our baby.

Today, January 27, 2011, we woke up to 10-15 inches of snow in our yard. Mommy made a snow angel to remember BG4.

We named BG4 Vivian O'Gene after two maternal grandmothers of ours. We laid BG4 to rest in her older brother's arms, Gabriel, who died later in 2012. They were interred together in the same urn vault at the St Louis Catholic Cemetery in Clarksville, MD. 

My sterling silver necklace came today from 

www.RememberingOurBabies.net

It is a butterfly with a blue and pink jewel hanging down which are the international colors of baby loss/miscarriage. It's nice to feel like having this close to my heart means she or he is right there with me.